Friday , 14 December 2018
Funny Jokes in English
English Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes in English Language | Short & Best Collection

You are looking for best or short collection of Funny Jokes in English? Then this is the right place for Laughter. And the doctor says laughter is the best medicine for human body. If you’re one good joke can bring the little smile on your friend’s face, don’t hesitate to say the joke to your friend. In this post I have bring some awesome collection of the best new “English Funny Jokes”. May be you already listen some of these jokes, but through this post I will try my best to bring little smile on your face. Let’s see the best latest Jokes in English.

Best English Funny Jokes Collection

English Funny Jokes / 1

  • Teacher: You failed the test
    Student: You failed to educate me

English Funny Jokes / 2

  • Teacher: All idiots stand up
    a boy stand up
    Teacher: so you are an idiot?
    Student: No, I can’t bear you standing alone

English Funny Jokes / 3

  • Naughty Kid: Hello! Do you have a Refrigerator?
    Man: Yes, I have, who are you?
    Kid: Is it running?
    Man: Yes
    Kid: Get hold it…. otherwise I might run away
    The man slams down the phone

    ….
    …..
    After a few minutes the phone bell rings again
    Naughty Kid: Hello! Do you have a Refrigerator?
    Man: (Angrily) I don’t have
    Kid: Didn’t I tell you Hold it?

English Funny Jokes / 4

  • Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an I.
    Student: I is the……
    Teacher: stop! Never Put (is) after an I always put (am) after an I
    Student: Ok, I am the Ninth letter of the Alphabets

Funny Jokes in English / 5

  • Who said English is easy?
    Fill in the blanks with Yes or NO
    1._____ I don’t have brain
    2._____ I don’t have sense
    3._____ I am stupid

Funny Jokes in English / 6

  • Doctor: Why did you take your antibiotic
    medicine at 06:00 pm when I told you at 09:00 pm…?
    Patient: I wanted to surprise the bacteria…….
    Lol

Funny Jokes in English / 7

  • Santa: Oye! What are you doing?
    Banta: Recording this baby’s voice
    Santa: why
    Banta: when he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

Funny Jokes in English / 8

  • Husband: (calls up hotel manager for room)
    please come fast, I am having an Argument
    with my wife and she says she will jump from
    your hotel window.
    Manager: Sir, I am sorry, but this is your
    personal matter.
    Husband: you Bastard!!!
    The window is not opening.
    This is a maintenance issue!!!

Funny Jokes in English / 9

  • Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy Restaurant
    As the food was served, Husband said: The food look delicious, let’s eat
    Wife: Honey…. You say prayer before eating at home.
    Husband: That’s at home sweetheart…. Here the chef knows how to cook

English Funny Jokes / 10

  • Teacher: Why you are late?
    Student: There was a man who lost a hundred
    dollar bill
    Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him
    Student: No. I was standing on it

English Funny Jokes / 11

  • A student was walking on the way, and was saying
    by himself. Oh God! London may become the
    capital of Washington.
    A man said: son! Are you crazy?
    The student said: No, today I have written in the
    paper, that London is the capital of Washington.

English Funny Jokes / 12

  • The robbers attacked a house, they steal all the
    baggage of the house.
    A child of the house arose and said to the
    robbers: if you didn’t bring my school bag, so I
    wake my father.

English Funny Jokes / 13

  • A person found a sickle.
    He cried I have found a thing. If anyone showed
    me its attribute.
    So I will give it to him, and if no one tell me, so I
    well cut the grass with it.

English Funny Jokes / 14

  • Costumer: give me tomatoes of ten Rupees.
    Vegetable grocer: ok, (hai, hai, hai, hai).
    Costumer: give turnip of ten Rupees.
    Vegetable grocer: ok, (hai, hai, hai, hai).
    Costumer: give chilly of five Rupees.
    Vegetable grocer: ok, (hai, hai, hai, hai). Say anything else.
    Costumer: put hai, hai of two Rupees too.

English Funny Jokes / 15

  • There were a few brainsick under treatment in
    a hospital. One day when the servant doctor
    came. So the brainsick asked him. That now we
    are healthful and discharge us form the
    hospital.
    The doctor draw a door on the wall and said to
    them:
    If one of you open this door, he will go to his
    home on this way.
    Every mad was struggling to open the door.
    One of them was sitting in a corner and was
    laughing loudly. The doctor thought that, this
    mental may recovered, and asked him, why are
    you laughing?
    He said: they are all brainsick. The key of this
    door is with me, and they struggle wasteful.

Funny Jokes in English / 16

  • One day a man knocked on the Mula Nasrudin
    door. Mula’s son came to the door.
    That man said to him: say to your father. To
    drug the bicycle.
    His son said: ok.
    When his son went near Mula, he said to him:
    go, and say him, that the my is father asleep
    and bicycle is puncture.
    His son come and said: the bicycle is asleep,
    and my father is puncture.

Funny Jokes in English / 17

  • Teacher: I will complain to your father that his
    son has written the wrong article.
    Student: Sir, my father has written this article
    himself.

Funny Jokes in English / 18

  • Chintu was writing something very slowly
    Mintu asked: why are you writing so slowly?
    Chintu: I am writing to my 6 years old
    daughter.
    She can’t read very fast

Funny Jokes in English / 19

  • Father said to his son: Bring me a drink
    Son: Pepsi or Mirenda
    Father: Pepsi
    Son: Cool or Hot
    Father: Cool
    Son: Big or Small
    Father: I didn’t want it, Bring me some Water
    Son: Cool or Hot
    Father: Cool
    Son: In the Glass or Mineral Water
    Father: Hey! I will kill you
    Son: With knife or gun
    Father: With Knife
    Son: You want to hit me or slaughter me
    Father: Idiot! You make me mental
    Son: You want to come with me to a doctor or
    I bring doctor here

English Funny Jokes / 20

  • On day, a teacher stands a student from last
    bench and asked him:
    Name a few animals
    Student said:
    Donkey Sir, Horse Sir, Dog Sir………………
    Teacher angrily replied:
    Idiot! Why are you putting Sir in these names

English Funny Jokes / 21

  • A women asked her husband:
    Tell me two words in which I shall happy and
    unhappy
    Husband Replied: First word is this, that you
    are my wife
    And the second one is this, that I curse on this
    life

English Funny Jokes / 22

  • Wife: What are you doing?
    Husband: killing Mosquitoes
    Wife: How many did you Kill?
    Husband: Total 5
    2 Females, 3 Males
    Wife: How do you know their gender?
    Husband: 2 near mirror and 3 near beer

English Funny Jokes / 23

  • A person said to docter: Dear docter! I dream
    everynight that I play football with donkies.
    You haven’t any medicines to give me, that
    don’t dream anymore!
    – Why not! Take it this medicine and take from
    tonight and won’t dream anymore. The docter
    told him.
    – It wouldn’t better to take tomarrow, because
    tonight is final game. The man said.

English Funny Jokes / 24

  • Noshad:
    Brother! Allah saves me today.
    Shamshad:
    How is that?!
    Noshad: the train quite crossed above my head.
    Shamshad:
    So how did you save?!
    Noshad:
    I was under the bridge.

Funny Jokes in English / 25

  • Three white beardmen went to doctor in
    becuase of forgetting.
    The docter asked from one:
    Two multiple two equals what?
    He answered: 196.
    The docter asked from the second one:
    Two multiple two equals what?
    He answered: 65.
    The docter asked from the third one:
    Two multiple two equals what?
    He answered: 4.
    The docter said happily. Whomp! How did you
    know?
    He answered: I subtracted 65 from 194.

Funny Jokes in English / 25

  • Mother! Mother! I became the governor of my
    class.
    How is that?
    The teacher asked me that how many legs
    elephant has.
    I told him: five.
    But it is the wrong answer.
    I know but it is the nearest answer.

About Shoaib Raza

Shoaib Raza is a Blogger and Graphic Designer who exist on the internet since 2010 with many successful stories and many more to come.

Leave a Reply